Erotic Desires Of A Woman


Erotic Desires Of A Woman

Funny, I was always busy, yet found time to go out on dates, particularly on the weekends. Now one day is just like the last. Dating? I don’t even know what that is anymore. I love men; I am a very passionate woman, and I love great sex. In 2014, my erotic desires are to find a man with which to have both a meaningful relationship and great sex.

The problem is I am not attracted to the men around here. Most are closet racists and, quite honestly, boring. Profoundly and passionately boring despite guidance, if you know what I mean. The art of love making should be second nature, but it is not. I am sad to report, there are men who are clueless; some can’t even kiss.

What is up with that? At this age, how can a once-married man with children not know how to please a woman? Younger men are much better in bed than older men. Older men claim that passion—or rather, sex—is over-rated; convenient when your toaster doesn’t pop up. In any event, that should not stop them from giving, erotically. Older men have forgotten this. For me, money does not make up for this deficit.

I was married and engaged to men 6-8 years younger. Up until a few years ago, my limited number of ‘long-term relationships’ were with younger men. Then, I started dating men my age. I liked the conversations and the sophistication. Lacking were fun and sex—two of my favorite things. One would think, as a person matures in age the art of sex becomes more refined with experience. I am well-versed in this art; I consider myself an expert. Unfortunately, there are not many opportunities to practice my skills. My last two relationships fizzled because of bad sex… I instructed…I don’t think those men realized the degree of my boredom.

I was bored enough to weigh the pros and cons of continuing those relationships. I chose loneliness—sex was more important. And now, not having had any in what seems like an eternity, I am lonely, not by choice, but sex for sex is not my thing. I desire the entire emotional package that comes with the art of great lovemaking.

Along those same lines, I am considering doing like everyone else—dating married men. I am told the sex is better; moreover, they are going to get divorced anyway.

So there you have the erotic desires of a woman. I now spend weekends alone, feeling like an invalid with this foot drop that hinders my ability to wear shoes and walk (but not belly dance). Younger, more attractive men show interest; but how young should I go? Twenty years is too young, and thirty is indecent. Unfortunately, men my age are wretched in their bitterness, old-looking, and boring—profoundly and passionately boring.

As my erotic desires are downgraded and fizzle, so do my passions. I feel empty, numb, with nothing to look forward to because I am stuck living in an area with small toasters that don’t pop up or last. 🙂


This post was inspired by comments to: Erotic contemplation



Author: Angela Grant

Angela Grant is a medical doctor. For 22 years, she practiced emergency medicine and internal medicine. She studied for one year at Harvard T. H Chan School Of Public Health. She writes about culture, race, and health.

67 thoughts on “Erotic Desires Of A Woman

  1. Oh my!! You have voiced my complaints since I was 45!! My first experience after my divorce, the toaster died and I thought to myself (being a past Catholic follower) “Oh, dear the Lord is punishing me for having sex out of wedlock”…and the punishment went on and on several times. I was afraid to voice my love for sex (hey, my ex and I had good practice for 26 years…that was not why we divorced!) Love your post, kiddo. You will find your match…be patient or move the heck out of there and yes, stay with younger. I was a late bloomer and came wild and alive at 45…so I still have catching up to do…haha. hugs, Oliana

    1. Again, I lost my response.

      I say go for it, live life, catch up and go way beyond.

      Women don’t voice their desires or love of sex because then they are labelled promiscous — we can thank religion–leaving men to feel sex is about THEM and THEIR pleasures which to our displeasure are satified in the blink of an eye. Where does that leave us women who like sex? In need of someone else who will provide.

      Sounds like you found a real good looking one. I was engaged to a very handsome man, unfortunately, I was not ready and neither was he. It was a passionate relationship that had no support from either of our families. We both had demons and it ended badly.

      On the other hand, my last two relationships with older men were good. We got along well, no arguments and we are still friends. I loved the company and the cuddling but there was no pleasure for me in the sex.

      1. No, that was my first bf after 10 years! but although he was younger, he was like an 80 yr old in so many ways. A really nice guy but…well, you know…I broke it off at 2 months before it got serious or I got attached…You’re right when you say, we feel guilty to admit we have needs and feel worse if we complain about it. Well, my mom was still alive at 80 . I must admit my fantasies are far better. But you are so young…you go, Girl!!! you hve so many possibilities and you are drop dead gorgeous!

  2. Wow, such a singularly beautiful woman. My advice is don’t even think about the age number. Just go with what is right for you, whatever that is. You will find the right toaster :>)

  3. Hi, Angela!

    We really need to talk. I have the answer for you.

    Actually, I need to write it up and publish it, but I know the secret — or should I say — secrets — to creating a good relationship.

    I would be happy to go more in depth privately!

    Talk to you soon!

    2014 is going to be great!

    • V
    1. Hi Valeria,

      Sounds intriquing….you figured it out…that is a secret worth millions. The secrets to a good, lasting and gratifying relationship.
      We should talk.

      Further, we need to catch up. 🙂


  4. Oh, one more thing: A big NO on the married guys.

    You can say they will end up divorced.

    But you wouldn’t want them if they did get divorced; after all, they show supreme selfishness.

    Don’t believe it if they say their wives aren’t intimate with them, or the marriage is over. Some guys will say anything to get what they want. Their wives might be surprised to hear the story they tell you.

    I can tell you more about that privately, too. 😉

    1. Valeria, I use to feel that way until I started hearing stories of women dating married men. I heard both the men and the ‘other woman’s’ argument and find myself rethinking my morals–morals left over from my days of being a Catholic– guilty of every and anything.:)

      However, I can’t wait to talk. 🙂

      1. Ah yes, stories. Ever heard the one of them guys who went fishing one sunny day and telling stories about what they had caught during their big adventure?

        Um…….married men are better in bed, or…..uh…..on the kitchen table, than bachelors? Now where did that come from? Sunday school? Your local PTA gang? Story tellers? Lmfao! Such crap!

  5. What’s boring to you can be exquisite to another. What you find repulsive can be the ultimate in sex to another. What you consider perverse can look mega conservative to someone else.

    Instructing your lover? That will only pay off for you if he/she has it already in her/him. Otherwise you will only feel like that bored teacher teaching unwilling pupils. End result: Mediocre sex at best.

    1. I waited for your comments……
      True,….and I gather many women have similiar feelings…I wonder if that explains the divorce rate. I read where one in two people get divorced.

      I gently instruct, being careful not to bruise egos, and I see the effort and appreciate it but an orgasm is better. Hehehe.

      MBA, the one who knows all and speaks in many tongues, how do I get great sex and a man?

      1. That would depend on what you consider great sex.

        Um…….about that instuct thingy: Don’t instruct. Simply tell him what to do. Don’t be gentle. Be ruthless. Go for what you want. Be egoistic. Most men are pussies when it comes to sex, That would depend on what you consider great sex.

        Um…….about that instruction thingy: Don’t instruct. Simply tell him what to do. Don’t be gentle. Be ruthless. Go for what you want. Be egoistic. Most men are pussies when it comes to sex, and, although the majority of those machos will never admit this, are only hungering for a woman like that, and will go the extra mile not to disappoint her. And if they still can’t do it to your desires, simply send them to the neighbors or a freshly divorced sister.
        and, although the mojority of those machos will never admit this, are only hungering for a woman like that, and will go the extra mile not to disappoint her. And if they still can’t do it to your desires, simply send them to the neighbors, or a fresly divorced rookie sister.

        1. Have you ever watched Curb your enthusiasm with Larry David. There is one show where they talk about oral sex. Larry has neck issues the day after… he wonders why it takes so long for Cheryl (his wife) to cum.

          Most men do try but older men have a real difficulty and some have real hangups. Yes on the kitchen table , outside on the deck and where ever else we want to be naughtly.

          I do simply tell maybe I need to be ruthless: Get back here you are not done! LOL

          Some women fake orgasms just to get it over with–the sex was that bad.

  6. Hi!

    Check your email. Part 1 is there.

    Why the heck would anyone fake it?

    I’ve never faked. Don’t plan to start.

    I wouldn’t like myself otherwise.

    • V
      1. Ahem,, is that true? You really don’t want to trample one or two into the mud or something? Are you sure?

        Some egos are just waiting to be crushed, having an orgiastic experience when it’s done to them, you know?

        And some should be crushed anyhow, no matter what!

        1. Really crushing someone’s ego in bed is orgasmic….some guys don’t even like to talk about sex–it makes them uncomfortable. MBA, I think you are playing with me.

  7. Dear Angela,

    Most things are as difficult as you make them yourself;

    As soon as Angela will stòp searching so spastic and wonders IF THÉ ONE AND ONLY man for Angela Grane excists, you’ll méét him !
    And apart from that, Angy knòws where that one and only man lives and waites for you !!
    remember that small island a few miles below your Jamaica!
    Hope to welcome you soon at Curaçao(=corason = heart),

  8. Angela, you need to turn off that computer screen and get out of the house more, good men are not going to be on any dating sites, meet people
    at new venues you have not yet explored, ones that only hang out on line are not going to meet your expectations.
    Buy 2-pairs of new shoes in the same style (one may be larger than the other) you have had far greater challenges, if anything your limp may be a conversation starter with that gentleman wanting to open doors for you.
    You have little reason to be any less confident than in the past, put negative thoughts and expectations out of your mind, you never know what can happen (I have a story). Just get out there.

    You can read a person face to face much better than what they present on the computer screen

    1. Hi Bert,

      How are you? Hope you had a wonderful holiday!

      Yes, I do need to turn off the computer screen….it more than anything is interfering with my productivity. Also getting out is a wonderful idea….the snow makes it difficult…I alreay fell and bruised my hip while walking the dog around my house.

      I guess it is time I stop licking my wounds…get out there and DO!

      Thank you Bert for reminding me what is important: Getting Out There!

  9. Now look at that, Bart is the one, and Bert knows all about how to get your man, Angela. No way you need me to tell you how to get great sex and a man. It’s all here babe. Two classy and seasoned machos who came around in Sexolandia and ready to satisfy your every whim.

    1. MBA,

      Stop it! I need all the trusted help I can get.

      BTW, do you visist Sexolandia frequently? I never heard of it until now. Went to the site, no details spared–every private part exposed. Comparatively speaking, my boobs are smaller but my body is in good shape. 😉

      I understand why some women expose their naked body, flaunt while you have it and if you make money good for you.

      Personally, I would not do that and those models have nothing over me except boobs.

      1. Hahahaha, you searched for it? Lolol. Didn’t know it existed myself. Made the name up while writing my comment. You showed me the thing is there for real. It’s not for me though. It’s only for special men 😉

        1. MBA you are busted! And you implicated Bert and Bart FALSELY…! I typed it into google just to see what you guys were up to. Clicked on the first entry expecting a band or some chat site instead found an image of nude woman. Did not explore further so I don’t know what was being offered. But you probably do…..LOL.

  10. “Larry has neck issues the day after…” Lmao! Seems to me Larry never found the g-spot either. What a loser! And….um……the longer it takes for her to come the better, I learned. Ah, but what would I know, eh? I’m just a man who loves to drag on foreplay for hours before diving into raw and explosive sex.

    1. That evasive g-spot….

      MBA, are you teasing: “foreplay for hours before diving into raw explosive sex.” You know that is most women’s fantasy including one of mine…..where explosive is natural, simple and pleasurable.

      So you do have alot to share….now will you?

      1. You have no idea, hehe.

        Um…. you mean you want me to tell the mishpocheh here about my way of creating the atmosphere of an erotic nirwana and the things going on in there for days at a stretch? Really? Nah, I pass. It only would make people to contemplate sexual suicide, if not worse. Some creeps would call the sex police too.

        1. Yeah, I was hoping you would write a cute story describing the process. Just think of all the sexually dissatisfied and frustrated females you would help. Gosh, I would copy the story and keep it handy.

          It could be a conversation starting point that saves marriages by fostering good sex.

  11. Angela, there’s some good advice here. Isn’t it great to see how many people want you to find happiness?

    Regarding meeting men online, — it can work. I met someone special that way. However, I would prefer introductions through acquaintances now.

    On the other hand, “online” does not necessarily mean “on dating sites.” Online is really anywhere outside your immediate area. And you can use Skype and Google Hangouts as well as other apps to see the person and look him right in the eyes when you talk. Even if the person is halfway around the world.

    Have you looked into Meetups? You could join one to explore a hobby that has a high percentage of men.



  12. Just be yourself and love yourself, do not chase after anyone and soon the complete package will come to you! And all of your needs will be met in a very amazing way! Have a great day my sister!

    1. But only if you’re a sweet, nice, and well behaved girl, ready to obey and fulfill the godly needs of that amazing man marching into your life with his incomplete package, eh?

      Go for it babe, and you’ll be saved.

      1. That shouldn’t be a problem for me….sweet, nice, well behaved (based on my definition).

        Anyway, that is not what he said…you know it too.

        It is near unanimous I should not chase instead spend time loving and being myself.

        I have to call Sameera. 🙂 There maybe hope…

  13. “…… guys were up to.” I consider that an insult!

    “And you implicated Bert and Bart FALSELY…!” Gosh, really? Poor boys.

    “But you probably do…..LOL.” You just declared me a liar. Shame on you.

  14. “Just think of all the sexually dissatisfied and frustrated females………” Are you crazy? No way lady. I leave that for the self proclaimed gurus, blessed pastors, and other arrogant life-coaches. I prefer to focus on all the seasoned and sensual vixens, passionately following their whims and exercising their feminine power to get what they want. So much more rewarding.

  15. “Your culture is what can you do for me? etc.” What the heck are you talking about? Jeeez!

  16. Good sex is like a relationship and getting along. You just don’t want to go away from it. So let’s say there’s a difference between a pony and a horse, inches verses hands, if its just not there your hooped. If your going to look towards married men…..remember the statistics there likely the same.

    Even though it may be 2 women for 1 man in our age group and a mans advantage, stick to your desires kiddo. There is really a good one for you.

  17. “””I will recognize him….I hope. That is why the need for objective measures”””.

    You already know him. It has been sifting so in your mind for months now. The physical could in no way measure to your thoughts of him. The reason is simple, you know it for sure, just a little timid admitting it, you might get hurt like all the others, but this time it is so very real. In every way you are sure he will complete you, just say, ‘yes’ too the one who truly does love you. Both physically and in mind.

    So your a sexual beast and that’s OK. Remain untamed for the one who cares and loves you, always.

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