All  our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. #quote

Look at the faces of influencers. Look at the faces of the popular posts. Sometimes, I see over a hundred likes and equal number of comments from a post  that amount to  a picture of bacon with words “I love bacon.” Yes such posts go viral!

Social media normalizes  racism.  Social media biased tastes  align  with ideologies of  white supremacy, white privilege and culture and nuanced suppression of dissenting voices.

White folks feel saved as they become experts on the history of slavery, and even it’s ills….now ain’t that something? Books by white authors on slavery are Bibles of that overt era of slavery–oppression and subservience of black people. They tell stories based on their perspectives, we don’t even get to tell our own stories.

If Blacks fight back, they are  whiners.  Some folks firmly believe in an infrastructure  that selectively  jails and imprisons black men.  Some folks even forget  Black people are part of humanity.     What will it take for others and for black folks to consider ourselves equally worthy of respect and dignity?     Social media and technology are not going to do it.   There are signs that social media is organizing to guarantee the status quo.

This post is really about mental health.  I am disappointed by the lack of knowledge and the myths that still persist about mental health.   Most seem unperturbed by its increasing impact on physical illnesses, violence and poverty.

 I have a son who is mentally and learning disabled.  During his birth,  the cord was wrapped around his neck and  my blood pressure.  His short statue is due to a growth hormone deficiency…I believe the suicide of his Dad traumatized him deeply and while he had therapy a diagnosis was never made.    Living with him is not easy.  He is a pain in the butt.   I love him, he is a shy kid and developmentally he is six years old.

Guess what,  he graduated from high school yet still has the mind of a six-year-old. He is also functionally illiterate and cannot hold down a job.   He was bullied in ways I am only discovered recently.

New Hampshire does not have the skills to help him and one day he will kill himself like his father. The police will be there to help him pull the trigger and write their reports. What can I do?

We are not white!   Most here don’t care about blacks–we are an authentically colorful species in their minds.  Fortunately, not everyone is like that; what makes NH bad is it’s small competively minded and  powerful racist people.

With mental illness, no one seems to recognize the path.  My son needs help, and there is no one here to help him. He had therapy for 10 years and still does. (There are many dangerous therapists practicing in NH, one in particularly, I will write about at a later date.) We lucked out and found one who cared but this system is set up for white élite culture, not us.

I do not know what to do to get help him…other than painting him white and finding a rich sponsor. The area I live, quickly hates blacks and those who don’t conform. I’ve come to not trust this cold-dispassionate community that strategically lowers the bar for their black students. Will he will be another statistic? He once told me, “Mom, I won’t live to grow-up.” He is right.

I think he is right…. because he is black and mentally challenged. His father a Veteran, mixed-irish heritage, who committed suicide and was an alcoholic. Where is the system that helps Veterans’ families?   There is no system.    When Vets committ suicide and leave their families, the system does not care and offers no support despite knowing the risks to families especially children.

I watch systems without compassion or empathy.  Systems with  knowledgeable innocent bystanders ONLY doing their jobs and the rest of the world brimming with indifference  to appreciate the connection to their causes and the tough challenges we face together.

I have always known my sons are targeted for jail and death. I will lose one son soon…. with him I go.   Help my youngest and please help my oldest.   He will go soon if he does not get the Best psychiatric care,  not a psychiatrist who is in need of psychiatric care.  (The latter are dangerous people and some exist in New Hampshire also.)

All it takes to end life:  A car…a closed garage and carbon monoxide….your culture likes a good show….when it is over and we are gone…will you care to prevent anymore? Alternatively, will you attribute to poor parenting and hysteria?

*******

Goodbye…!  Induce change,  change the environment and change the culture. The science says a child’s pre-frontal cortex is not developed until ~30 years old on average. Think about learning-disabled and mentally-challenged young adults in this world. Where do they end up? Why?

Our medical delivery of mental health sucks, plain and simple. My son has multiple risk factors for suicide, has mental illness and LD.   The system has done as much as it can and then it punishes those least able to defend.  Why?  Stats and MONEY and sometimes  tiny minds.

Recently, I realized my son was functionally illiterate…. he lacks self-confidence and self-esteem. Blame me and help him despite his blackness…perhaps together we can help others…Or else…this world is not for me and many others–black and white–who are deemed different.  Social Media,  not making the bang of a  difference instead promotes the same culture and same rules through influencers and hot topics custom-fitted for insider cultures.

Failure to Listen, Failure to Care and my Failure to Make a Difference in the lives of my own children and others….

Goodbye.

Goodbye….

So what does the story have to do with the title…it is black history month and you will figure it out.

All  our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. #quote

Photography: RobyPhotography.com