My Thoughts: Friends, You Can/Can’t Trust

Friends, You Can/Can’t Trust

I have friends who confide in me, and I never repeat what was said. I have friends who I confide in, and they spread the word.  Sadly, those are my “trusted friends”. Maybe I am confused, and they are friends I can trust not to keep my confidence but to contribute to gossip.

Friends have helped me tremendously yet they have intentionally and unintentionally almost literally killed me.  Sometimes, friends decide to do what is in my best interest, but the outcome is extremely harmful to me.  What do I do?

Can’t tell you how many times I confided in people only to hear from others every word I said in confidence. The lesson is don’t trust anyone with any information you don’t want others to know, no matter if you’ve known the person for years or they’ve given a promise of silence.



Author: Angela Grant

Angela Grant is a medical doctor. For 22 years, she practiced emergency medicine and internal medicine. She studied for one year at Harvard T. H Chan School Of Public Health. She writes about culture, race, and health.

16 thoughts on “My Thoughts: Friends, You Can/Can’t Trust

  1. Such are indeed harmful experiences. I consider myself lucky not to have experienced too much of that.
    Good looking new Makeup of your blog!
    Cordial regards

  2. Hi Angela, like the others I really enjoy the format and presentation of this blog. It is one of my “must reads”.

    As regards ‘friends’, you have to realise that all people have their own issues and most are pressed for time. Therefore one cannot expect 24/7 support. Also, of course, some people are fake friends from the start, though others find the dynamic between you and them is no longer satisfactory. Of course, this doesn’t excuse a trust being broken, but it happens. Sometimes by accident, from a slip of the tongue.

    To attract more friends, and therefore true ones, we also need to give out the right signals. Each person you meet, initially be very welcoming though keep your secrets to yourself until they pass certain tests. And those could take years to happen.

    I can tell you this: you’d be surprised who are your true friends. Some people are too modest or shy to express their devotion, but they will be there for you when it counts.

    Our lives are what we make of it. And of course things go wrong, but that is when we grow, become wiser and then be more attractive to others.

    Love life….

    1. Hi Pete, glad you like the new format.

      It’s not the availability as much as the trust. Shouldn’t other people send the right signals too?

      Yeah I haven’t made much of my life. Anyway I realize why I feel this way.

  3. I have learned a hard lesson who to trust, it has to be a spiritual connection, especially with Black Brothers and Sisters. You have NO bond until that foundation is set.

      1. Sadly, especially among Black people, you can’t trust anyone at the same time I can’t close my heart either as that’s not healthy or how we were created. I let the Holy Ones bring the right people in my midst then I know they are for real. Don’t give up, Cry if you need to, but don’t give up!!!!!

        1. You don’t give up! You still have lots of life in you. I believe some of us have to move out the way to make room for others. My turn to move out the way is coming up.

  4. I can certainly relate to this post. I’ve dealt with people who I thought I could trust and who I thought were great friends only for them to take advantage of me or straight up betray me. It’s been getting hard to trust anyone in real life. I’m thankful for my friends who’ve stuck by me for years and I’m also thankful for bloggers like you that I can talk to about things that I rarely get to discuss abut with most people.

    1. Curtis, it’s like I’m just waking up to my environment. I want to run as fast as I can but I can’t because of this damn house. I’ve learned to be selective about the information I share with others.

      It’s great to have an online community of like-minded bloggers who understand. When I started blogging it was like I spoke a foreign language and people didn’t like what I said or how I said it. Now there is you and others like you who understand. That’s been a great comfort.

      1. I see and I feel like I’ve been waking up although for different reasons. Sorry to hear about your house though. I hope things get better. I don’t blame you for being selective about sharing certain kinds of info.

        Of course and I can find intelligent people who focus on different subjects on here. Blogging has helped me become more outspoken in real life like how I made movie reviews of obscure media properties or making experimental music projects. Thank you. I’m glad I am one of those who understand.

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