Feel tied-up, turned and twisted into a knotted ball. A ball that’s too heavy with life to bounce.

It gets that way when things go wrong. Today was one of those days where my inside felt like a knotted ball of fire. My rigid body and pounding head ready to explode. I kept thinking: Breath, breathe, breathe and know that life ebbs and flows like waves.

Another leak in the basement in the same location as the old leak. An area that was not repaired leaked again into the main basement area where the contractors left household items and furniture from upstairs. I called the insurance company, the insurance agent, the insurance commission and was on hold for ADA.gov for over 20 minutes twice, each time.  The person hung up on me.  No one seems to appreciate the urgency of the situation.

ADA.gov gave me numbers to HUD as the ADA does not handle residential housing and the number to the State Attorney General’s Office for Consumer Protection. When I called HUD I was routed to the regional HUD office where I left a voicemail. In the meantime, it’s still leaking in the basement, and I will not injure myself to move heavy boxes and furniture.

I’ve lived in my home without a dishwasher, cooktop, or oven since the leaks last June (2017). It’s been a hell of a year! I  have a microwave and a refrigerator for meals, no dishwasher. Haven’t had a home cooked meal in a year. My house is in disarray with mostly everything packed in boxes in the basement. I can’t find anything, so I have to buy many things that are packed away which is expensive for someone on a fixed income. I don’t even have brooms or a vacuum. The central vacuum is not working because of the leaks.

Living in such a disorganized house is disruptive to my sleep and extremely stressful for me. Remember, I have severe sleep issues and head trauma with memory and organizational difficulties. Since my house was deemed habitable and environmentally safe to live, I have not had a good night sleep in my bed. Things have gotten so bad I am back on medications to stay awake so I can function during the day since sleep is a lost cause in this environment.  State Farm policies, as well as the entire process, do not consider people with disabilities who have difficulty with memory, organization or sleep.

No wonder life sucks. Wouldn’t it suck if you paid a mortgage and homeowners insurance to live under primitive conditions that aggravate your health? Medically deleterious conditions due to delay and requirements of an insurance claim process that does not make allowance for people with disabilities.

I gave myself a hug today because I needed one. It felt good but now I have to contend with a re-leak from the first leaks.  State Farm will want me to file another claim so I pay another $3900 deductible.  I still have to file a police report for items stolen during the time my home was cleared of mold and uninhabitable.  State Farm said I needed to file a claim for the stolen items that were stolen while my house was being repaired from a State Farm claim and guess what my house is still not fixed.