Time escapes me, but about a month or two ago, I noticed my reluctance to go outside and be around people. There was a strong urge to be home when I was around them. I was aware of color and where that placed me in the new world order. Being a living target in too many people’s minds is unsettling.

Once we leave the house, most of us have little control over events. For Black people, someone, almost always a white person, will likely go out of their way to hurt them. Most often, it’s a subtle slight or non-violent hostility.

Lately, it’s so overt that TV news showed stats on the surge in hate crimes. For other groups, it was around 60%. It was over 200% for Black people, yet the story focused on antisemitism. That was an example of a subliminal reminder that twice as many hate crimes against  Black communities are acceptable. But a 60% rise in antisemitism should be dealt with immediately. The news made it seem that Jews were on the verge of extinction when that was not true. That story messaged the world that Black lives aren’t necessary, but Jewish lives are.

Today we get 24/7 propaganda under the guise of news. One or two stories are usually “analyzed” from all angles. That “analysis” can go on for weeks, ignoring more critical events. Most reports are violent and triggering or have insidious effects. For me, it feels dangerous to be out. I’m not a hunter, but I feel hunted.

As a race, we don’t have much power except purchasing power. When bad things happen, our “power” amounts to protests after the fact, and not much changes. Who wants to be a hashtag? We are targeted and hunted, and society doesn’t care. Too much racial hatred and violence, it’s stressful and a deterrent to being outside.