Food for thought inspired by a silly FB post. I learned that conflict is an opportunity for growth. I also learned culture matters.
Most saw the humor in the post, but others outraged that I offended Melania’s honor made such a comment:
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw this. I never expected you could post shit like this. You’ve lowered yourself now to the level of people you question and totally reject. Shame on you.
“When they go low, we go high” Remember that one?
Being a thoughtful person, I saw an opportunity to manage offended people. Without conflict, there is no growth, right? Believe you me, I don’t usually think like this, but I did this time.
When a post offends a friend, how do you manage the fallout? Should you delete the post not to risk hurting or losing friends? I’d like to hear your thoughts since I didn’t manage this one well.
Once I sensed conflict I wanted to understand why someone would get upset over a meme-tweet of a person they never met? And whose husband was the élite pussy grabber who proudly coined the term for himself? Trump inspired the tweet and my FB post. Responses of friends mystified me, considering it is near damn impossible not to make fun of Trump and his family.
This was an example where culture matters.
When Obama was President, I saw countless derogatory images, memes, and tweets of Michelle Obama on FB and Twitter. Though hurtful, I didn’t take them personally. Unlike Trump, Obama and his family did not tweet disparaging remarks about women, immigrants and disabled people. Still, social media ridiculed the Obama family including their children.
Being told how wrong it was to criticize Melania, I thought of the innocent black men, women, and children humiliated and murdered daily. How come friends showed no outrage or support for those innocent people? My experience was a peek into culture and its multi-dimensional nature.
Next time a friend gets offended by humor or posts or tweets:
- Ask why the topic is important to them
- That will give insight into motive
- Knowing motive will help understand and predict behavior
Performing the above will ease tension, improve communication and hopefully outcome. Imagine the impact on understanding each other.
Most don’t see conflict as an opportunity for growth.
This post was edited on 5/14/2018
