Being broke sucks! These days it seems everyone has money except me. That was not the way it was supposed to be. I never imagined myself in this predicament when I was younger, but here I am.
I am a doctor trained at some of the best schools in the world, yet I am broke and can’t find a way to make money. This is not a pity post but one trying to figure out what the hell happened. It goes back to April 2012 and the head injury. Since then, I’ve been turning around in circles. I can’t seem to find my way. I think I see the light, but it’s just a shiny object leading to a dead end. I am trapped in a deteriorating mind and body, surrounded by endless darkness that leads to self-sabotage. There does not seem to be a way out.
I am to the point of having to do my nails and hair to save. That sounds trivial to many, but to me, it’s well-being. I will have to let go of the few luxuries that gave me joy, which is frightening. I have fallen so far already. To think I will fall further is depressing. Worst of all, I feel helpless and powerless to do anything. I grew up poor, and it looks like I’ll die destitute.
Though unsalvageable, I will try never to give up, not because of me but because of my children and grandchildren. I want them to remember a woman who never gave up, even when there was no hope.