Why Is Dating So Hard?

I burnt out on dating. It’s hard work and highly superficial. In my experience, it’s become a process that leads to sex or no sex with another. It’s not about getting to know another person or a long-term relationship. I am not saying those things don’t happen, but it hasn’t for me.

How many people find love or their soulmate with online dating? According to a Pew study, 30% of adults used online dating apps. Only 12% found committed relationships through dating apps. While 60% had positive experiences, over 30% did not. When they dug deeper, they found that 1 in 3 felt harassed, offended, or threatened by someone they met through a dating app.

Early on, when online dating was new, I had wonderful experiences and met a few great guys. However, I had terrible experiences too—fortunately, none where I felt threatened. I don’t put myself in situations where I might be threatened, such as going to a man’s house for dinner after a couple of dates. When a man offers to cook me dinner on a second or third date, that’s a red flag. It means he wants sex, and if I don’t want the same, I don’t want a confrontation on unfamiliar turf.

With those odds, am I wasting time with online dating? It’s a part-time job that could become full-time if I let it. I guess it offers hope. It’s my lottery ticket to finding a man. How else will I find my guy?


Author: Angela Grant

Angela Grant is a medical doctor. For 22 years, she practiced emergency medicine and internal medicine. She studied for one year at Harvard T. H Chan School Of Public Health. She writes about culture, race, and health.

12 thoughts on “Why Is Dating So Hard?

  1. I believe it is easier to find someone through social contacts and activities which don´t have the direct aim to find a partner. It could develop out of such frame.
    All the best and most cordial regards

    1. Hi Andreas. I can see why you say that, and I thought so too. I would love to meet my guy the traditional way. That’s the romance I crave even at my age.

  2. Do you remember your question, “Can you keep up with a woman like that?” and my answer to it, “She’s the only one I want to keep up with, Angela, because I’m just like her, and she’s also the only one who could bear me.Testing each other’s limits (if there are any 🙂) while holding hands and never letting each other down, does it for me. Descending together into a volcano attracts us more than a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride in winter wonderland 👿”, the time I let people know what kind of woman I’m looking for?

    Mianstream people are scared to death to connect to and live with people with our kind of personality structure, Angela 😈 That’s why! ☺️

  3. Hi Roald. I remembered. That was a while ago. “Descending together into a volcano ….while holding hands and never letting each other down.” Mmmm, that’s passionate love. Not many get to experience it, but you did. Btw, recently, I saw a video about what women do when they’re interested. I wanted to see what other women were doing that I wasn’t. I was surprised to learn about flirting emojis. The smiling devil is one of them. What is our personality structure?

        1. There are a few who get us, but are too afraid to admit this even to themselves, and certainly not publicly. So, to not get in trouble with the herd, they just keep spouting some mainstream crap. Still some of them keep lecturing others how important it is to be authentic 😛

          My humor? I got kicked out of internet groups just because of that ☺️ Oh, and not only because of that 😈

            1. I think so. We were both members of several groups where there was, for instance, talk about mental health, education, and truth.

              I remember you often called me MBA. I wonder why.

Share your thoughts

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.